Which Celebrity Would You Rather Reproduce With?

Michael Jackson sadly and shockingly passed away today. He was a groundbreaking performer who truly changed the world of entertainment. Despite any past jokes about Michael, he is a legend and will forever continue to be the King of Pop.

In tribute to Michael, here is my favorite MJ song, Billie Jean:

If I was a middle aged woman, I would probably tear off my mom jeans faster than you can say "American Idol" to reproduce with either one of these lovely men. However, to me they just look like the same blonde gay/possibly gay man 35 years apart.

So which of these soft-rock adult contemporary crooners would you rather reproduce with? And more importantly, are you a Fanilow or Claymate?

Barry Manilow:


Clay Aiken:


VOTE:

Speaking of big lips, which aging rock star would you rather mate with?

Steven Tyler
63 year old big lipped Aerosmith singer Steven Tyler:


Mick Jagger
Or would you rather have kids with 65 year old Rolling Stones singer Mick Jagger:


VOTE:

Which Prince would you rather mate with?

Prince, The Artist Formerly Known as Prince, O(+>
Prince is a wacky musician known for outrageous outfits, controversial songs, and changing his name to an unpronounceable symbol. It's important to note that this would probably stick you with a lot of diaper duties, since it's hard to call for a guy whose name can't be pronounced.


Prince Charles
Unlike the other Prince, Prince Charles is an actual prince. Although he doesn't seem like he'd be as much fun as the other Prince, Prince Charles of Wales (Charles Philip Arthur George), would be kinda cool to have kids with since they would become princes. But the whole cheating on Princess Diana thing makes him less desirable. Plus having the Queen Mum be your mother in law, or at least your baby-daddy's royal mom, doesn't seem like much fun. She doesn't strike me as a hands on Grandma who'd help with dirty diapers or feedings. And you'd also probably have to clean the house and hide the pringles before she came over since she's used to all that royal stuff. But on the other hand, that would be well worth it, if your kids get a stake in that inheritance.

Which worn out celebrity with a drinking problem would you rather do?

David Hasselhoff
Once the male star on Baywatch and a uber-celebrity in Europe, the Hoff is now looking a little Hasseled these days. It doesn't help that his own daughter, in an effort to stop his drinking, released video of a very drunk David Hasselhoff eating hamburgers with no shirt on. Mitch Buchannon has seen better days.


Mel Gibson
Once a big star in blockbuster movies, Mel Gibson has also seen better days. Even worse than the movie"Signs", Mel's career really rock-bottomed when he was arrested while drunk driving and went on a drunk and raged anti-Semitic tirade and called the arresting officer "sugar tits."
Mugshot:

This is definitely a match up I wouldn't actually want to find myself choosing between.

Chris Brown. Until a few weeks ago, Chris Brown probably seemed liked a great catch, young, talented, great singer, great dancer, seems like a nice guy. Like a young Michael Jackson (before he went nuts). Well it didn't take long until Chris went nuts himself, attacking and badly beating up singer girlfriend Rihanna. Definitely no longer reproduction worthy.




If assault and battery aren't your thing, and getting peed on is more your style the other choice is R Kelly. In addition to his annoying songs and awful music videos, which should be a crime on their own, R Kelly has been sued on multiple occasions and arrested for having sex with minors. Including his most famous trial for child porn charges after a tape surfaced involving him, a minor, and pee. Eew.

This is perhaps the scariest match up, we've had to-date. Who would you rather reproduce and have children with, Michael Jackson or Marilyn Manson? Which creepy musician to pick...this is a tough one.

Michael Jackson, who has been accused of molesting young boys numerous times and has turned into a freaky white woman over the years?


Or Marilyn Manson, androgynous goth musician, who is known for dressing in crazy makeup with creepy eyes and teeth:





Thanks to William from Ramblings & Junk for this match up. If you have a match up you'd like to suggest, please leave a comment with your ideas.

Keeping with the political theme, would you rather reproduce with President George W. Bush or Senator John McCain?

George W. Bush is younger, but pretty much put the United States on a downward spiral.


John McCain would mean you'd have to get it on with an old guy, but on the bright side you'd probably breed baby mavericks.

Which political pundit with embarrassing scandals would you rather reproduce with?

Bill O'Reilly, host of the O'Reilly Factor who made headlines a few years ago when he was accused of sexual harassment by his producer after regaling her with stories of his lewd fantasies, including ones involving a loofah (which he referred to as a falafel). Things got more embarrassing for O'Reilly when video of him flipping out at a producer was released.


Or, would you rather mate with right-wing Rush Limbaugh? Also a pundit, Limbaugh spent years talking about how drug users should be sent "up the river", but was arrested in 2006 on drug charges for a prescription drug addiction.

Which tv show host would you rather reproduce with?

85 year old Ed McMahon, former Tonight Show side kick and Star Search host, who recently almost had his home foreclose:


On the bright side, if you buy some magazines there's a small chance he'll show up to your house with a giant check for $1 million dollars.


Or would you rather mate with 84 year old Bob Barker, former host of the Price is Right? Bring your sparkly evening gown though, Bob had quite a few allegations of sexual harassment from his Barker Beauties during his 35 year run as host of the game show.

Although I'd worry that Bob is so into spaying and neutering his pets, he might not want to reproduce either.

Which dirty looking rocker,Pam Anderson ex-husband, would you mate with? Tommy Lee (real name Thomas Lee Bass) or Kid Rock (real name Robert James Ritchie)? Either way, you'll probably get a venereal disease.

Tommy Lee:


Kid Rock:

Which TV nerd would you rather mate with?

Screech, Dustin Diamond, from Saved by the Bell who recently made a dirty sex tape(link to Wikipedia- not the actual tape!) and did celebrity boxing on tv:



Steve Urkel, Jaleel White, from Family Matters who's been in a few shows but hasn't had too much going on since his days of playing an annoying nerdy neighbor.


I'd personally pick Jaleel White, but only if he showed up as Stefan Urquelle.

Which ugly rapper would you rather reproduce with? These two don't need much of an explanation, they're just ugly.

Snoop Dogg:



Lil John:

With the Hills coming back on tv last night, I think it's an appropriate time to choose between 2 hated reality show losers.

Spencer Pratt from The Hills who is not only spineless and would do anything for attention, but also has gross facial hair and is a giant d*bag:


Or there's the previously most hated male reality star, Puck (David Rainey)from the Real World San Francisco. There he tried to disgust his roommates with his snot, sticking his gross hands into other people's food, and generally being as dirty and vile as possible:

Which closet-homosexual Scientologist would you rather re-populate the Earth with?

Tom Cruise, who's at his creepiest:


John Travolta, who's looks are quickly slipping:

Which Roseanne Ex would you choose?

Tom Arnold (younger, but was real husband and actually slept with Roseanne)


John Goodman (older, but was only tv husband and did not actually sleep with Roseanne)

Which unattractive, surprisingly muscular, celebrity redhead would you rather repopulate with?

Danny Bonaduce:



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