Which Celebrity Would You Rather Reproduce With?

Which vapid, plastic android would you rather have children with?

Heidi Montag (the female media hungry half of Speidi) whose recent plastic surgery have made her look just that...plastic...like a robot...a soulless attention slut robot. In addition to Heidi's plastic looks (from what I can tell she has fake boobs, fake lips, fake nose, fake cheek bones), she also lives a totally staged and faked life full of publicity stunts with her boyfriend/fake husband/robot programmer, Spencer Pratt.



Or would you rather reproduce with Victoria Beckahm? She is also very fake in some very obvious areas. Although she is probably not as soulless as Heidi, she is really scary and mean looking.

This is perhaps the scariest match up, we've had to-date. Who would you rather reproduce and have children with, Michael Jackson or Marilyn Manson? Which creepy musician to pick...this is a tough one.

Michael Jackson, who has been accused of molesting young boys numerous times and has turned into a freaky white woman over the years?


Or Marilyn Manson, androgynous goth musician, who is known for dressing in crazy makeup with creepy eyes and teeth:





Thanks to William from Ramblings & Junk for this match up. If you have a match up you'd like to suggest, please leave a comment with your ideas.

Which strung out celeb would you rather have children with?

53 year old former supermodel, and now wacky reality tv star, Janice Dickinson:


Or 44 year old former singer, and now wacky former singer, Courtney Love:

Keeping with the political theme, would you rather reproduce with President George W. Bush or Senator John McCain?

George W. Bush is younger, but pretty much put the United States on a downward spiral.


John McCain would mean you'd have to get it on with an old guy, but on the bright side you'd probably breed baby mavericks.

In anticipation of tomorrow's election, I have two political figures to choose from today. Alaska Governor, and vice presidential candidate, Sarah Palin. Or, New York Senator, and former democratic contender, Hilary Clinton. Remember, you're not choosing the best looking person to fool around with, the name of the game is to choose who you would pick to re-populate the earth with if you were one of the last human beings on the planet.

So do you pick Sarah Palin with her gee-gosh conservative values?


Or Hilary Clinton, with liberal values, but risk catching something good old Bill passed along to her?

Which political pundit with embarrassing scandals would you rather reproduce with?

Bill O'Reilly, host of the O'Reilly Factor who made headlines a few years ago when he was accused of sexual harassment by his producer after regaling her with stories of his lewd fantasies, including ones involving a loofah (which he referred to as a falafel). Things got more embarrassing for O'Reilly when video of him flipping out at a producer was released.


Or, would you rather mate with right-wing Rush Limbaugh? Also a pundit, Limbaugh spent years talking about how drug users should be sent "up the river", but was arrested in 2006 on drug charges for a prescription drug addiction.

Which aging, plastic surgery loving, Joan would you rather mate with?

Joan Rivers, the classic example of too much plastic surgery (now 75 years old)


Or Joan Van Ark, 65 year old former soap opera actress, who also has a love of cosmetic surgery:

Which tv show host would you rather reproduce with?

85 year old Ed McMahon, former Tonight Show side kick and Star Search host, who recently almost had his home foreclose:


On the bright side, if you buy some magazines there's a small chance he'll show up to your house with a giant check for $1 million dollars.


Or would you rather mate with 84 year old Bob Barker, former host of the Price is Right? Bring your sparkly evening gown though, Bob had quite a few allegations of sexual harassment from his Barker Beauties during his 35 year run as host of the game show.

Although I'd worry that Bob is so into spaying and neutering his pets, he might not want to reproduce either.

Which past or current co-host of The View would you rather repopulate with, Whoopi Goldberg or Star Jones? Either way, get ready for some very opinionated chatting along with your coffee each morning.

Whoopi Goldberg:


Star Jones: There was a period of time when I was impressed that Star Jones was getting skinny and looked good, but now she's taken it too far. Her face is looking scary now that she's so skinny:

Which dirty looking rocker,Pam Anderson ex-husband, would you mate with? Tommy Lee (real name Thomas Lee Bass) or Kid Rock (real name Robert James Ritchie)? Either way, you'll probably get a venereal disease.

Tommy Lee:


Kid Rock:

Which crazy singer, who's career has disappeared, would you pick?

Whitney Houston, who used to look good and have a great career, but lately looks as whack as crack:


Or Latoya Jackson, who like the rest of the Jackson family seems to have a disorder where their face evaporates over time:

Which TV nerd would you rather mate with?

Screech, Dustin Diamond, from Saved by the Bell who recently made a dirty sex tape(link to Wikipedia- not the actual tape!) and did celebrity boxing on tv:



Steve Urkel, Jaleel White, from Family Matters who's been in a few shows but hasn't had too much going on since his days of playing an annoying nerdy neighbor.


I'd personally pick Jaleel White, but only if he showed up as Stefan Urquelle.

Which ugly rapper would you rather reproduce with? These two don't need much of an explanation, they're just ugly.

Snoop Dogg:



Lil John:

Which butter-face from rich celebrity parents would you rather mate with?

I'm pretty sure that if you stuck Bruce Willis in a dress, he'd be a more attractive female then his daughter Rumer Willis. I'm really not sure what happened between Bruce and Demi Moore to have a daughter that got the complete short end of the genetics stick.

Rumer Willis:



Tori Spelling is another butterface. I feel bad that her dad was worth over $300 million, and only left Tori $800,000 and that face:

I'm very happy for Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi who just got married. But other celebrities have lesbian girlfriends that are very surprising choices.

Check out Lindsey Lohan's new girlfriend, Samantha Ronson. Gay or straight, I wouldn't want to reproduce with her because she looks so dirty and skeevy:


Then there is Cynthia Nixon's girlfriend, Christine Marinoni. Although she doesn't look gross like SamRo, I'd think Cynthia would find someone that looked a little less like a 12 year old boy:

With the Hills coming back on tv last night, I think it's an appropriate time to choose between 2 hated reality show losers.

Spencer Pratt from The Hills who is not only spineless and would do anything for attention, but also has gross facial hair and is a giant d*bag:


Or there's the previously most hated male reality star, Puck (David Rainey)from the Real World San Francisco. There he tried to disgust his roommates with his snot, sticking his gross hands into other people's food, and generally being as dirty and vile as possible:

Which Tom Cruise wife (past or present) would you rather breed with?

Katie Holmes is better looking, but seems brainwashed and is morphing into a 12 year old boy (must be one of Tom's requests). On the other hand, Nicole Kidman's face is turning very scary and plastic looking from botox/collegen overuse, however she did manage to escape Tom's maniacal grasp and his brainwashing.

Katie Holmes:


Nicole Kidman:

Which closet-homosexual Scientologist would you rather re-populate the Earth with?

Tom Cruise, who's at his creepiest:


John Travolta, who's looks are quickly slipping:

Speaking of Roseanne, which celebrity comedian "Rose" would you pick:

Roseanne Arnold/Bar:


Rosie O'Donnell:

Which Roseanne Ex would you choose?

Tom Arnold (younger, but was real husband and actually slept with Roseanne)


John Goodman (older, but was only tv husband and did not actually sleep with Roseanne)

Which grotesque, disfigured, disgusting skin celebrity would you rather?

Amy Winehouse, with nasty meth skin:


Jocelyn Wildenstein, also known as the “cat woman”, with probably even more plastic surgery gone wrong than Michael Jackson:

Which unattractive, surprisingly muscular, celebrity redhead would you rather repopulate with?

Danny Bonaduce:



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